joy comes in the mourning
swimming the waters of cancer season
i am in a crabby mood.
i’m not surprised. it’s cancer season, we’re in mercury retrograde and i’m skimming through an endless stream of doom every time I scroll.
a bouquet of lilies at a farmers market. heart.
a recipe for grilled snapper. save.
a puppy snuggling with his favorite toy. send to babe.
breaking news: white nationalist march from— sigh.
close the app.
courtney and I are a few months into running our pop-up tea bar. i’ve lost count of how many events we’ve hosted. a good sign. our community expands and deepens with every pop-up. it’s hard for me to find the words to express the joy i feel when i hear a familiar voice ordering something that was once an idea in my head.
as romantic as realizing this dream has been, running the bar means more time in the community which means my quiet moments have become even more sacred to me. when i’m alone, i stare up at the clouds to get a good look at me. the sky is my favorite mirror. here, in this lonely space, i am fully present with myself. i can bear witness to all of me: the joy, the pain, the grief, the anger. i can feel the full weight of myself as the sun and moon take turns illuminating my truths.
every person needs to take one day away. a day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.
maya angelou
wouldn’t take nothing for my journey now
as the active energy of gemini fades, cancer gives me time to withdraw into myself and examine all that i’ve been carrying. most days i’m moving on auto pilot, managing my to-do list, checking off the tasks of the week. i live in my mind, sometimes completely unaware of how the joys, frustrations and fears of the day land in my body. it’s not until i find myself in the quiet moments, away from my cares, that i can begin to notice and name what i’m feeling.
rather than intellectualize my emotions (something i’m very good at) i’m leaning into the wisdom of cancer and allowing myself the space to feel my feelings. no pressure to search for solutions. just feeling.
today that means i’m sitting in my crabby mood. my remedy? a day at the beach with my love.
a weekend in charleston
my favorite thing about living in south carolina, besides being close to my love, is being able to visit yemaya whenever i feel called. the atlantic has been calling to us for a few weeks and we finally carved out a couple of days to make the journey.
saturday
12pm we arrive in charleston. first stop? food.
nik: we started our trip at hannibals. i had good intentions to take pics but once that crab fried rice (with shrimp), collard greens, cornbread and black eyed peas hit the table i had to lock in.
courtney: she’s right, we didn’t have a chance once we sat down and heard the gospel music on the speakers. if y’all haven’t been to hannibals, go ahead and go. they know me over there (or at least they should after we tried one of everything on the menu).
2:30pm isle of palms beach
c: we had to walk about half a mile down the beach to get to our beach chairs. in all the years of going to this beach, i’ve never seen it this crowded. i’m convinced everybody and their mamma and then some found themselves on the sand around us.
n: i was completely spent by the time we sat down on the beach. all i could do was close my eyes and let the sound of the waves rock me to sleep. when i woke up i had just enough energy left to splash around for a bit and gather some artifacts for our altar.
8:15pm drinks at maison
c: there’s something about gin. i could stop there, but imagine with me—a bright, chilled gin cocktail with good company after an afternoon in the sun. it was perfect, as much as i can’t stand that word, it really was.
n: i had a bourbon punch, a bit fruiter than i usually go for but it was good enough for a round 2.
10:32pm dinner at leon’s oyster shop
c: y’all, i don’t know what it is. white men are obsessed with us. after several drinks at maison, we wandered down the street to leon’s for a table. we sat outside and i let the gin talk me into a getting her a friend. i ordered a frozen gin and tonic (the house specialty) and waited for baby. three men one table over insisted on sharing their food with us and engaging in several courses of conversation (if they asked me, they could’ve just taken care of the check).
n: we went back and forth wondering whether we should order the chicken or the fish fry plate. we opted for the fish but thanks to our friendly neighbors we still got to taste their famous fried chicken. i’m definitely planning to go back for oysters next trip.
sunday
11:15am breakfast at felix
c: another early morning in charleston brought heat and a need to explore. we walked down king street and found a coffee pop-up before breakfast at félix. i didn’t realize there was such a heavy french influence in the city—restaurants, bars, architecture, all (delightfully) french.
1:00pm coffee and writing at kudu
n: this was a surprisingly slow weekend in charleston. the college kids have gone home for the summer. no holiday means no big family crowds. just a nice sunday morning admiring the stories and architecture surrounding us. my favorite. i wish we had another day.
courtney: our weekend ended at a coffee shop/wine bar off of king st.
as the scripture says, weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. after a trip to charleston, joy is closer now.
Beautiful read and I love the co writing. 🫶🏽
2 of my faves in 1 of my fave places 🥰 thanks for sharing the warmth yall co-create ✨